Sunday, February 18, 2007

Progress of Mutual Attraction in a typical Bollywood movie


Legend

A: Hate at First Sight - Boy and Girl meet in less than perfect circumstances.
B: First Fight - More friction leads to increased animosity.
C: First Blood - A significant event (misunderstanding, an exposed lie, malicious elements, etc). causes a sizable drop in affection.
D: The Silent Treatment/Encounter Avoidance phase - Rate of increase of hate slows down to a small constant.
E: Encounter of the nerd kind - Once again, opportunity for romance is destroyed by imbecile friends (or villainous entities).
F: The rescue mission - Girl finds herself in an impossible situation. Boy makes crazy sacrifice to rescue her, sustaining multiple deadly looking injuries on face, arms and back in the process.
G: Going Steady - Girl and Boy declare their affection for one another. This is followed by a series of ridiculously aerobic song and dance numbers.
H: Second Blood - A serious fight engulfs the Girl and Boy causing an all-time low in affection.
I: Grand Finale Rescue Mission - Girl once again finds herself in a life threatening situation. Boy rescues her, albeit with more close calls with torture chambers, fire and a fleet of half-trained, double-armed henchmen. He demonstrates incredible spurts of anger induced energy, the knife wielding finesse of a chef at MacDonald's and the martial arts of a crippled ballet dancer. At the end of all this ruckus, he has one patch of skin near his forehead that is not soaked in blood.
J: Happily Ever After: A steady increase in the rate of affection. This segment is interspersed with more supposedly romantic musical excursions (more calisthenics) followed by a wedding/engagement. The rate of change of affection is extrapolated by the Director/Story Writer as "Happily Ever After".
K : (not shown) - Couples therapy!